Major Project - Script Draft 7

Condemned Script Draft 7

The seventh draft follows up to the final draft of the previous unit and will act as a starting point in my assessment of the Major Project unit. This draft will also act a template for the eighth draft, the final draft before shoot week. As mentioned in a post from the last unit, changes will be kept fairly minimal, I had planned on making the major changes (if necessary) after our production meeting involving our actors in the final draft. This way the cast and crew will be fully aware of what big changes will be made.

The first of these changes was a small detail in scene 5 where I have decided to have David's character sat down and Nick's character standing over him. This decision made sense as I wanted to convey a power struggle between the two characters which would be difficult to do if both characters were standing as Basil (playing David) is taller than Anthony (Nick). To keep the power on Nicks side, I removed the detail about him pulling a chair into the space to sit and decided to keep him standing. The wording was also changed in areas to keep the script tight and easy to follow.

Only a couple of small changes were made to scene 6; minimal pay was changed to minimal wage and don't let me down was changed to don't be fucking late. The changing of words in the latter of the two changes was to further enable Nicks character. It makes more sense to curse at David as opposed to keeping his calm with everything. I wanted to convey the sense that Nick doesn't really like David and that David cannot trust Nick.

The next change comes in scene 8, another small change. sink and boiler was changed to hot water. A more vague description made more sense to both Nick and Stephens characters.

Scene 10 saw a handful of changes. "Boiler needs replacing" felt far too formal for Nicks character. I instead opted to change this to "Boiler's fucked". Nick would be far more blunt about the situation and would much rather David figure the issue out himself rather than informing him of the situation. The wording was changed in Stephens line to maintain a better tempo in the film and Nicks line about the tea see's him dismiss David's cup as opposed to asking him. These changes also affected other areas of the scene which required some shuffling about. For instance David now asks for tea AFTER Nick leaves the room.

A layout change was made to scene 13 with little change to the dialogue itself. Just makes for a better read and again, adds tempo to the story.

The scene in the park (14) saw a couple of changes to the dialogue but the scene itself remains the same. David instead asks when Stephen was diagnosed as opposed to "How long you had it?" The question makes more sense as Stephen can't possibly know when he actually got cancer, only when he was diagnosed. The wording in Stephens next line also changes slightly for better pacing. 

No major changes were made to the bench scene (15) but there were some slight wording changes as it reads more naturally. The pacing is more or less the same.

The word bar was dropped from Stephens line in scene 17 about a fight that happened years ago as it reads a lot better. Only a couple of wording and spelling errors were changed from this scene.

The dialogue in scene 18 was fairly minimal anyway but there was one change that I wanted to make from this scene. In the last draft, David says his line after Nick finishes speaking on the phone. I have opted to have David say this while Nick is speaking. This is presented in two separate dialogue columns side-by-side.

Scene 21 saw a few changes in dialogue. The first of which was the wording of Davids opening line. "My boss" was changed to "Nick" being one, and the other being "Did you tell him?" This line is far more to the point than "Do you know anything about this?" which feels to formal for a confrontation. Stephens next line saw some wording changes for a better read.

The final scene, while only one change was made, it was a significant one as it decides what we will be leaving the audience with. I initially had the ending as a deja vu of the opening scene but have now changed it to leaving him lying on the bed as flashing images of the past begin to haunt him. The ending was easily the most difficult to land and has seen a couple of changes since my first few drafts.

Major Project - Research into Budget

Research into Budget

The budget for this film was discussed well in advance of this term as it was something that we were all looking to contributing to. It's important to factor in that this budget will be supplied by ourselves and not the course so discussing how much we were willing to put in was absolutely essential that we knew how much we were each willing to pay. In order to secure some of the locations, the fee had to be paid last term. We all agreed on a rough number of £500 each as a starting point and worked from there.

Now that I had a rough figure to work from (£1500 total thus far), I decided to look into how much we would need to spend as well as what we would need to spend it on. There are a number of ways to go about working out a budget, these are the ways in which I went about it:

Reading the script - Reading through the script and taking notes is one way I went about gathering items and locations. Having written the script myself, I knew where to look and what to look for, but even still, it helps to look through again and again to make sure I have everything I need. Josh and Troy also read through the script and made their own notes as to what we may need. We collaborated our lists and looked into how much everything will cost. This covers the costs of all the listed costumes, props and locations.

Cost of contributors - Payment of actors had already been agreed at £60 per actor per day as well as a small percentage of their travel costs. Having arranged how much I will pay each of them for travel, I could get a solid grasp of how much we will have spent over the course of the shoot. Any other contributors, such as production assistants, will be paid in travel costs alone. Again, the locations have already been covered.

Feedback - One thing we greatly overlooked when discussing our spendings and budget with Simon, our course leader, was food. In order to keep our contributors and actors happy, we must supply them with good quality, hot food. Snacks such as crisps and sandwiches will not be sufficient over the span of a day, let alone a week if we want to keep everyone happy. Fast food will not be sufficient either. While we could get away with doing it on one occasion, it is best to avoid it entirely and stick to home cooked or well prepared dishes. To ensure that neither of us are distracted from our responsibilities, the food must be prepared either by someone externally or a production assistant/runner. THIS SHOULD NOT BE OVERLOOKED!!!

While set design had been considered (see reading the script for details), it had been advised that we do not underproduce our set design. Simple things that are not listed in the script, such as a newspaper, or a pot of tea bags, are easy to overlook but can make the biggest difference in the appearance of our film.

Prior experience - Having worked on two third year projects beforehand (Grit in my first year, Double Exposure in my second), I had an idea on what to expect. The food, while simple, was to a good standard and there was plenty of thought as to what the actors might like/not like to eat. Everyone was considered. Weeks in advance of the shoot, I was asked by Wesley, the producer for Double Exposure, what food I like, if I have any allergies, etc.

One very costly, yet unexpected expense was the cost of batteries. Wesley had explained that he had some money put by in case something went wrong or required more thought on the day of shooting. This was clever as there was no way we could have predicted how many batteries the sound would use alone. So many packs were bought over the course of the week. This was something I wanted to look out for.

Major Project - My Role: Producer and Screenwriter

My Role

As discussed in a previous post, we have all decided to continue with our chosen roles. Mine of which being the producer and the screenwriter for the film.

My Role as Producer

For the earlier stages of the term, I will be continuing with my duties in ensuring that everything I have planned for the film goes ahead. This will involve, but is not limited to:

• Communicating with the actors regularly
• Talking with the locations, ensuring everything is still okay
• Organising production meetings with cast and crew
• Ensuring that crew are up to speed on what their duties are

To ensure that each of these tasks are carried out appropriately, there are a number of skills and traits I must use or indeed learn:

• A creative vision
• Problem solving
• Communication skills
• Organisation skills
• Self-motivating as well as motivating others
• Negotiation skills

These are all skills that apply to the pre-production phase alone, and though some may bleed over into the production as well as post-production phase, I must ensure that I am able to appropriately use these skills to help carry forward the production.

It's easy to think that the producers take a back seat during the filming stage of the production, this is indeed not the case. While it will be the director that takes the drivers seat on set, it will be up to me as the producer to ensure that everyone is satisfied and that the cast and crew are making the most out of what they have. I will be there every day to ensure that the production is going smoothly and offer creative suggestions where possible.

What makes my role as the producer particularly vital is the fact that I am there every step of the journey, supervising and ensuring everything is working as it should be, from pre-production through to post-production.

During the final stages of the production, it will be my job to overlook the edit, organise edit screenings, find a music composer (if not done already) and, if necessary, organise reshoots.

My Role as Screenwriter

Having produced 6 drafts of the script already, I felt as though I was in a comfortable position leading into the production phase. Leading up to shoot week, it is important that I frequently update my scripts based on the feedback and suggestions offered by our course leader as well as the cast and crew. My role as the producer will assist me in doing so as I will be able to organise feedback sessions with the crew. By doing this, I can get a better gage as to what the script will sound like and how it will play out. This allows me to write the best possible script for the film.

A relatively small role in comparison to producing, cinematography or directing, my role as the screenwriter will certainly take a bit of a backseat in the latter stages of the production. This does not mean, however, that it ends once filming begins. As a screenwriter, I feel that I have a right to express my creative suggestions with reference to the script should my ideas conflict with the directors. I should also understand that while I am entitled to my own opinion and can express this to the director, I must also allow the director to express his own vision as he sees it.

Major Project - Introduction to the Unit

Introduction to the Unit

Having spent the last few months working on the pre-production unit, I have decided to continue work on the 'Condemned' short film production. The developments made in the first term (as well as the Christmas break), I feel, have been sufficient enough to continue working on this production. The actors we brought in were still more than satisfied with playing their roles in the film and the locations we had arranged with were still available for shooting.

For this unit, my roles as screenwriter and producer will not change, though my role as screenwriter will take a bit of a backseat in the latter stages of this unit. My role as the sound editor on the other hand will be prioritised more heavily in these latter stages and my role as producer will shift focus as we enter the production and post-production phases.

It was agreed by myself, Josh and Troy that we would continue to work on the film heading into the new term as we felt we had progressed far enough to create the film without any major concerns, as aforementioned. Their roles as Director and Director of Photography respectively will not change.

Understanding our roles

In order to do my job, I must also gain an understanding of the roles of those I am working with as this will enable myself to better prepare for what is to come over the course of this production. Below are the people I will be working alongside, with a description of what their role involves going into the production phase:

Josh Bayly - Director (and sequence editor)

As I mentioned earlier, our group has not changed since the first term. Going into this term, however, our agreed roles will take on different challenges. For Josh, this will be putting his vision of my screenplay into action. During the shoot week, Josh will see himself in the drivers seat and the creative force of the production and will be challenged with putting all his preparation into action.

As a director, his role does not finish at the production stage. As we will all play our own part in the editing stage, it made sense that it would be the director that takes control of the sequence editing. While a director in the industry is unlikely to take on editing as well as their own role, it is expected of them to contribute to applying their vision to edit and ensuring it is carried out appropriately.

Using creative skillset as a guide, I explored the different ways in which a director can be responsible for the films final outcome:

"Directors are responsible for creatively translating the film's written script into actual images and sounds on the screen."

This point is relatively straight forward and is something that I already knew going into my research into the role. However, it is vital that Josh understands the importance of creativity when expressing his vision through film.

"During pre-production, Directors make crucial decisions, such as selecting the right cast, crew and locations for the film. They then direct rehearsals and the performances of the actors once the film is in production."

Having already served the first point in securing our cast, it is vital that Josh is able to direct a rehearsal before as well as during the shoot. The first rehearsal will be used to gain an understanding of the actors chemistry together as well as being able to read facial expressions and emotions.

"During post production, Directors work closely with Editors through the many technical processes of editing, to reach the final cut or version of the film."

I mentioned this point earlier about how directors carry their role forward into the post-production phase. As Josh will also carry the role as sequence editor, this should not be an issue.

"At all stages, Directors are responsible for motivating the team to produce the best possible results. Directors must also always be aware of the constraints of the film's budget and schedule and manage the expectations of the film's financiers."

To ensure that this happens, Josh will be working very closely with both myself and Troy to ensure that we are all just as passionate about his vision as he is. I will be on hand to ensure that he does not ask too much of the film in terms of budget. As we will be budgeting the film ourselves, however, this should not be a major issue.

Troy Smith - Director of Photography (and colour/grading editor)

With a clear understanding on how to use a camera to a high standard of finish, Troy has stuck with his chosen role as our Director of Photography (I will refer to the role as DoP from here onwards). Weeks of shot composition planning, colouring and test shoots will finally be taken into action this term for Troy; another thing he will be able to work on is his efficiency in setting up and taking down equipment. While it is Josh's vision that Troy will be working from, it will be his lighting, shot choice and decision making (in regards to camera) that will play a vital role in what the audience will see in the final film.

Again, his role does not finish at the production phase, partly due to the fact that he will also be playing a role in the edit itself. Using the creative skillset website once again, I researched into the key roles of being a DoP:

"During post production, DoPs attend the digital grading of the film."

This is the point I was just making. A DoP must ensure that their camera work is being utilised to the best of its ability and this carries forward into the grading. It is for this reason that we felt it was up to Troy to grade and colour the edit as a part of his role. This isn't uncommon on smaller productions such as ours.

"On smaller films, DoPs often also operate the camera during the shoot. At the end of each shooting day, DoPs prepare for the following day's work and check that all special requirements (cranes, Steadicams, remote heads, long or wide lenses, etc.) have been ordered. They also usually view the rushes (raw footage) with the Director."

For our production, Troys role as the DoP coincides with the role as camera operator. Troy will be working closely with myself (as well as the director) in ensuring that he has all of the equipment he will require on this shoot.

http://creativeskillset.org/job_roles/758_director
http://creativeskillset.org/job_roles/759_director_of_photography

Pre-Production - Project Evaluation

Project Evaluation

What worked?

While working my way towards the idea of Condemned was a difficult process, once I got the idea locked down I was able to just work on it without too many drawbacks. The idea started out very open and just needed focussing as time went on with each draft.

Writing the script was definitely the highlight of this project thus far, the sixth and final draft has come a long way since the first draft which was relatively unfocussed and very dialogue heavy. Despite the tight time restrictions set upon myself, I was able to churn out each and every script before the following feedback session with Simon meaning I could get frequent updates on the script.

Casting was another highlight as managing the large number of applicants did not prove to be as difficult a task as I had anticipated. Most were very responsive, some getting back to me within minutes of contact. I made sure that each and every message I sent to them was articulate and easy to read making organising audition dates or preparing taped auditions well in advance all that much easier in the long run (even if typing out each message took a long time). Only a small handful dropped out, and what I am particularly happy with is that I managed to keep the majority of the Stephen's interested (a worry as only 5/6 had applied).

What didn't work?

I spent a lot of my time writing out each draft for the script and keeping actors interested which distracted me from my other responsibilities as a producer.

The locations for example was an area I hadn't even looked into in much depth until the last couple of weeks meaning I may not have gotten the best locations for the David, Stephen and Nick's houses. The prison never got back to me about filming permission meaning I had to make a last minute change of location of the exterior of the County Hall (which itself is right next to the prison), a change suggested by the Kent Film Office who had warned me that gaining permission to film at the prison would prove to be a difficult task.

While the shooting schedule turned out okay and is nice and easy to read, this is another aspect of producing that I have had to push back to the last moments in order to get everything else secure.

What did I learn?

Over the course of this unit, I have learned a lot about story telling, script writing, organisation and working as a team.

The first idea we drafted up got red lighted at the pitching stage and leading up to it we found a number of different holes in our story. The first idea was set around a dinner party and the logistics of making it work over the span of 15 minutes or more was simply unfeasible. The story would have been far too dialogue heavy to work and the locations would have been far too restricting.

I have drastically improved on my script writing ability since the start of this unit and have learned a lot about the importance of dialogue, action, scene structuring and how to make it all work together to form a cohesive story that's just as engaging as it is visual. There are certainly qualities in my writing that will still need improving but I am particularly happy with what I have learned the progress that followed.

What could I develop?

On a more positive note, I could definitely use the progress I have made thus far to further develop my skills as a screenwriter. This has become a field in film / television that has really grown on me since the start of this unit and is something that I am interested in developing further.

Elsewhere, my organisational skills are in definite need of addressing. As I've already mentioned, I put a lot of my focus into such small section of the unit that some of the other important aspects of producing got pushed back until the final moments of the term. I made plans and trackers to keep everything on track and organised but referring back to them was a habit I never got myself into.

Pre-Production - Production Schedule

Production Schedule

Here I will be highlighting the key times and dates that us as the filmmakers and the casting will need to make themselves available for in order to make this film happen.

Production Meeting

Below is a table for our production meeting which we will be holding on the 30th January 2018. I have ensured that everything is accounted for in this table and a more detailed run through of what will be discussed is also available.

Time	Activity
10:00 – 10:15	This time will be used to get everyone at the production meeting acquainted and comfortable. I will then explain how the production meeting will go (I will have already sent them the details well in advance).
10:15 – 11:30	The meeting itself. I will detail exactly what we will be doing on each shoot date and will finalise any extra details that I may have to go over. We will go through the script and shot list scene by scene so that everyone is 100% clear on what is happening and what we will be expecting from them. Some of this meeting will just be reiterating what has already been discussed.
11:30 – 12:00	Any questions?
12:00 – 13:00	Lunch.
13:00 – 13:30	Photo shoot. This will be used for the final posters as well as other promotional images.
13:30 – 14:30	Scene rehearsals. An hour’s space to rehearse a couple of scenes with all the actors together. This will give us an indication of their chemistry working together before shoot date.
14:30 – 15:00	Paper work. Get all of the forms signed off before everybody leaves.
15:00 – 16:00	An hours clearance in case we run overtime with anything else.

Josh, Troy and I will be expected to arrive well in advance of this schedule to ensure that we are at the Studios before any of the actors. It would become rather awkward if an actor showed up before any of us.

The first 15 minutes of the day will be used to get everybody acquainted and comfortable and will allow me a little bit of time to go through what we will be discussing in the production meeting.

The next hour and 15 minutes will be used to go through all the key details with the cast and crew. I will go through everyones responsibilities on the day, the shoot schedule (of which they will already have a copy), a quick run through of the script and what costumes they already have and what they still need. We will also discuss payment and travel expenses, as well as the possibility of staying at one of the AirBnB's.

I have allowed half an hour for any questions to be asked by anyone, including myself.

An hour for lunch will be plenty of time for all of the contributors to get settled and comfortable with some food. We will be covering any food expenses.

Half an hour time will be given to take any photos for the posters and any other promotional images that we may need.

For the next hour, we will block one or two scenes with all the actors together to get a look at their chemistry as a unit. This will most likely be the scene where David and Nick are called round to repair the sink and the boiler for Stephen.

I have allowed for half hour to complete any necessary paper work with the casting.

An extra hours clearance will be advertised in case we run overtime with any of the scheduled activities.

Shooting Schedule

Ideally, myself, Josh and Troy should arrive at every starting location around an hour beforehand (08:00) to ensure that we arrive before the cast.

Time	Activity / Scene		Location	INT. / EXT.	Details
Monday 12th February
09:00 – 10:00		Start of the day	Nick’s House		Time to get everyone and everything ready
10:00 – 12:00		Scene 5	Nick’s Garage	INT.	DAVID has interview with NICK
12:00 – 13:00		Scene 6	Nick’s Kitchen		DAVID repairs sink for NICK
13:00 – 13:30		Scene 4	Nick’s Street	EXT.	DAVID finds job notice
13:30 – 14:30		Excess Time	Nick’s House		Time allowed in case we run over
14:30 – 15:30		CLEARING UP	Nick’s House		Time allowed to clear up (just a rough indication)
Tuesday 13th February
09:00 – 10:00		Start of the day	David’s House		Time to get everyone and everything ready
10:00 – 11:00		Scene 1	Maidstone County Hall	EXT.	DAVID stands outside the prison waiting for his taxi
11:00 – 12:30		Scene 3	Maidstone High Street		DAVID walks round high street
12:30 – 13:30		LUNCH BREAK	David’s House
13:30 – 14:15		Scene 2	David’s House	INT.	DAVID inspects his home
14:15 – 15:00		Scene 25			DAVID inspects his home (déjà vu of scene 2)
15:00 – 15:45		Scene 7			DAVID walks home from job
15:45 – 16:30		Scene 11			DAVID is haunted by the past
16:30 – 17:15		Scene 18			DAVID gets fired by NICK over the phone
17:15 – 19:00		Excess Time	David’s House		Time allowed in case we run over
19:00 – 20:00		CLEARING UP			Time allowed to clear up (just a rough indication)
Wednesday 14th February
09:00 – 10:00		Start of the day	Stephen’s House		Time to get everyone and everything ready
10:00 – 11:30		Scene 13	Stephen’s Kitchen	INT.	DAVID and STEPHEN discuss going to the park
11:30 – 12:00		Scene 9	Stephen’s Hallway		DAVID enters house
12:00 – 13:00		LUNCH BREAK	Stephen’s House
13:00 – 15:00		Scene 10	Stephen’s Kitchen	INT.	DAVID and NICK start work at STEPHEN’S
15:00 – 16:00		Scene 8	Stephen’s Street	EXT.	DAVID and NICK arrive at STEPHEN’S
16:00 – 17:45		Excess Time	Nick / Stephen’s House		Time allowed in case we run over
17:45 – 18:45		CLEARING UP	Stephen’s House		Time allowed to clear up (just a rough indication)
Thursday 15th February
09:00 – 10:00		Start of the day	Stephen’s House		Time to get everyone and everything ready
10:00 – 11:30		Scene 14	Park	EXT.	DAVID and STEPHEN are walking through the park
11:30 – 13:00		Scene 15			DAVID and STEPHEN are sitting and talking
13:00 – 14:00		LUNCH BREAK	Stephen’s House
14:00 – 14:30		Scene 12	Stephen’s House	EXT.	DAVID meets STEPHEN
14:30 – 15:15		Scene 16			DAVID and STEPHEN arrive back from the park
15:15 – 18:15		Scene 17	Stephen’s Kitchen	INT.	DAVID and STEPHEN reminisce over the past together
18:15 – 20:00		Excess Time	Park / Stephen’s House		Time allowed in case we run over
20:00 – 21:00		CLEARING UP	Stephen’s House		Time allowed to clear up (just a rough indication)
Friday 16th February
09:00 – 10:00		Start of the day	Stephen’s House		Time to get everyone and everything ready
10:00 – 10:30		Scene 19	Stephen’s House	EXT.	DAVID arrives at STEPHEN’S
10:30 – 11:00		Scene 24			DAVID leaves the house
11:00 – 11:30		Scene 20	Stephen’s Hallway	INT.	DAVID enters the house
11:30 – 12:00		Scene 22			DAVID is angry
12:00 – 13:00		LUNCH BREAK	Stephen’s House
13:00 – 14:30		Scene 21	Stephen’s Bedroom	INT.	STEPHEN reveals to DAVID that he spoke to Nick
14:30 – 17:00		Scene 23			STEPHEN reveals to DAVID what happened 30 years ago
17:00 – 18:45		Excess Time	Stephen’s House		Time allowed in case we run over
18:45 – 19:45		CLEARING UP			Time allowed to clear up (just a rough indication)